“Dreams” Chapter 24

For a very long time I had a recurring dream where I was in the basement of a house. In the basement were long dark corridors with doors to rooms. The rooms were grey and the walls made of cement. The wet mildew would fill the air as you opened the doors. Some of them had furniture and other objects, but many were empty. Each time I had this dream I was on sort of a scavenger hunt. Towards the end, I was also always being chased by an unknown creature.

Over time, this dream went away. I can only assume that what ever it was I was struggling with in my life went away as well. Somehow the rooms were no longer empty and wet but filled with peace and the corridors lit.

Other times over the years, my dreams were so real that I would act them out in my sleep - flailing my hands and arms - sometimes even hitting Laura. One time I was even on my hands and knees over her when she woke me up. Luckily she understood they were dreams and did not kick my ass afterwards.

Then there is the reoccurring dream of the Dallas Cowboys winning the Super Bowl, only to wake up with them losing in the playoffs yet again.

This makes me wonder, are dreams a true reflection of our lives? If so, then what do babies dream of when we watch them smile while sleeping, or was it just a good fart and they were happy it passed?

There are far too many books and experts out there giving their interpretation of the meaning of our dreams. ,For example when looking up “empty rooms in my dream,” I find money problems, depression, or that I need to embrace something important in my life. So many decisions to choose from the long corridors and rooms of advice on the internet is scarier than the dream itself.

Over the years, if I remembered the dream I had that night then Laura and I would talk, laugh and even look up definitions just to have a good conversation but, never did we place much value in them.

Many times after watching a show before bed, I would find myself dreaming I was Jason Bourne killing bad guys or the Little Merman with all my thingy-abobbers because I had plenty.

I never had dreams of me dying or without a function such as walking or speech before. But recently, I find myself having very vivid dreams of myself in different situations with various missing functions.

The other day I dreamt I was in front of a class teaching, but was unable to speak. I was using my devices to speak for me. Somehow, I was successful doing so and was communicating clearly. In another dream, I was unable to walk. When I wake up from these dreams I can clearly see why I have these disabilities in my dreams.

Then there are the other dreams when I am enjoying a good meal, running with my kids or even speaking to someone that are so clear that when I wake, I truly feel I have that capability to do so. Of course I quickly realize I am a 9, in my bed, waiting for some to help me get up and pee.

I can clearly see why I have these dreams and do not need Google to tell me what they mean.  Are these peaceful dreams really nightmares to a person who cannot live them out?  Are my nightmares of dying or losing a function now dreams? After all, nightmares are based on tragedies, but if the tragedy is reality, is it still a nightmare?

I have a brother in law who is Autistic. It makes me wonder if he dreams of walking and talking and how does that make him feel? Or does he not dream of this because he never had the ability, so it is not part of his thought process? Are the dreams I have running and speaking only because before ALS I was capable and I yearn to be healthy again?

What I do know is waking up each morning after a dream or a nightmare to reflect on them is a blessing. It means I am here one more day to have one more dream. To have one more day with those I love. One more day closer to a Dallas Super Bowl win. I will take a blessing 100% of the time over a dream any day. After all, if we are living a good life do we need dreams?

So what I really want is to hear your thoughts on this. Give me the good, the bad, and the ugly. Am I wrong or spot on? Are your dreams nightmares or are your nightmares dreams? Do you make decisions based on your dreams and a Google search? Leave a comment on the blog.

And remember, if you need a thingy-abobber, I have plenty.