“Hospitals Suck” Chapter 139

Did I ever tell you how much I really dislike hospitals? This, of course, is only a relatively recent development over the past four years or so.

I used to really enjoy hospitals while serving in the Army, mostly because the Army hospital had the best chow hall. You could get better food for a far better price than any other chow hall. As Military Police (MP), we'd frequent the hospital chow hall while on shift.

The other great thing about the hospital was actually working there as an MP. When assigned to the hospital, I'd serve as security for the ER. There were many shifts where you could nap... eh I mean relax (I never ever napped on duty). However, the other days, you could get good stick time. I’m glad the statue of limitations has passed. I had to deal with belligerent drunks, very upset folks who were given Narcan. That’s some kind of meditation used to reverse the effects of narcotics and man, do they wake up mad.

Anyway, when I was diagnosed with ALS, something changed and the last thing I ever want to do now is go to the ER because they just never seem to want to let me go. This time I was there four days just to 💩. 

My first hospital stay lasted 10 days, and that was when Laura and I learned the importance of advocating for yourself and having someone with me to help me do it. (“Advocating For Your Life” Chapter 14) Since I only communicate through my eyes or with my eye gaze, I need someone with me to help translate clearly. 

After nine hours in the ER this time, I was finally moved to a room with the ICU-Step down unit. This is a subsection of the ICU who cares for noncritical and ventilated patients. In the room we met three awesome nurses (shout out to Ruby, Birdie and Falisha). They made Laura and I comfortable by understanding my needs as a PALS. They quickly ran into a wall when they realized the IV port put in the ER was blown. Here we go again with the difficult blood draws. After the first two sticks, they called for Tom. Tom, Tom he’s our man, if he can’t do it no one can!! Poor confident Tom. Three sticks and 30 minutes later and using the infra red vein finder he finally got it. His ego, like so many before him, was crushed.

Since I am using a vent 24/7, we brought mine which was a good thing too. Remember I was in the ICU-Step down because of the vent. Why were we surprised when the Pulmonary team couldn’t hook me up to their ventilator because they couldn’t get the settings correct? They even went as far as saying it was because I am on a BI-PAP, not a ventilator. Laura tried explaining that I use the Trilogy, which is a ventilator with settings they should understand. The short part of this is to always advocate for your PALS. The next day Laura brought my ventilator on a stand to my room to use for the rest of my stay. When Laura spoke to the VA Pulmonologist about what happened, a specialist was sent to the hospital to train them that next week so they will understand how to use a Trilogy for future patients.

The rest of the visit was the staff trying to get us out of there and Laura fighting for answers. The only thing found on the CT scan was my bladder was extended and full. No blockage, no damage, and no clear reason why I can’t 💩, only “it must be ALS”.  The one thing that concerned the doctors was my bladder. So the next step is to set up visits to the urologist. Some of you reading this might be thinking you know where this is going: as my nerves continue to die, so do the functions of the body. The longer I continue to fight, the more help I will need - ostomy bag and catheter full steam ahead.

Next week I will fill you in on the rest of the story: God is always three steps ahead.

Love and Blessings.

 

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