“Why I Was Scared To Shower” Chapter 130

When you give a baby a bath for the first time, they are shocked and have no idea what is happening. The water washes over them and they don’t know if they like it or not. You reinforce them with comforting words. However, once they get used to the warm water flowing over their head and body, they relax and enjoy it. There are exceptions.

Well, let me ask you a question (“for a friend”): do adults get scared to take showers too? I had some nasty Soldiers in my time, but I think their parents didn’t beat them enough. I don’t think they were scared 😱. I do know for a fact that they were scared not to shower after I “gently” spoke with them. 😄

I used to love the warmth of the water rolling over my body when I showered. A good shower can wake you up in the morning. It can wash the dirt off your body. A good shower can even take the stress away from a hard day. Everything swirling down the drain never to return. So why was I scared, I mean, why was “my friend” scared?

Before our bathroom was renovated I stood in our 1990’ small shower holding on and Laura would wash my body and hair. ( had fallen outside a few times and was not able to reach all my crevices when showering on my own anymore. This didn’t last long as my transition was going so fast I couldn’t stand any longer. So we transitioned to a shower chair after the renovation. (chapter 32) I won’t lie, I didn't mind Laura washing me down.  😉😉

When I got my trachea, I spent the first 30 days getting a daily sponge bath and I got my hair washed using a waterless shampoo in bed. The shampoo went on like a mousse and was then dried with a towel. The problem is that residue would build up over time and this made my scalp dry and itchy.

I don’t know what happened, but the first shower I had after 30 days post-trachea didn’t wash the stress away like I'd hoped. As a matter of fact, it was more like the stress was coming out of the drain where it had once gone before, and creeped up my body from my toes to my head. I was so scared that water would go down my trachea, that I refused to have my hair washed in the shower. When I did I kept motioning Laura to hurry up!

Right about the same time we had our bathroom renovated so I was sponge bathed again anyway for three months and I had my hair washed in my wheelchair. My caregiver used a spray bottle and shampoo using a towel around my neck to catch any water dripping down. This worked well and the scrubbing slowly fought off the stress.

By the time the bathroom was complete, I was no longer able to stand. Fortunately, with the renovation complete, we were now able to use a shower chair. This was the first time in three months that I was back in the shower and getting my hair truly washed. As much as the water flowing over my body felt good again, I was still very nervous about water getting in my trachea. What I learned over time is that the trachea is very secure and doesn’t allow water in as easily as I feared. I still wash my body and hair separately and won’t let the water flow over my head to my feet as I did before ALS, but I do once again let the water wash away the stank and stress as my caregivers remind me it will be alright.

Like a baby who is no longer shocked by those first few baths, I can once again sit back and enjoy the warm water flowing over my body with confidence that the water will not go down my trachea. 

Love and Blessings 

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