“Ants In My Pants” Chapter 88

Were you ever told to sit still and stop fussing around? Have you ever had ants in your pants?

I've never been one to sit still, but when I did, I was always thinking of the next thing that needed to be done. I would play cards with the family and think of something else at the same time, all while my leg bounced up and down. ADHD? RLS? I don’t really know, but whatever it is, I feel like I am on "go" from eyes open to eyes shut. Even though I have the perfect excuse to take naps these days, I hardly ever do.

On nice days in the past, I would often stay outside until dark working on something. In the spring it was time for yard work or preparing the garden for the season. Through the Summer and Fall it was maintenance and harvesting. Because I was never busy enough, I also volunteered with various Nonprofits, even holding leadership positions for some. During the winter I tinkered around with repairing clocks. Speaking of which, I have a lot of broken clocks if anyone needs one to tell you the correct time twice a day.

The real fun is when Laura went out of town. We, or should I say I, would think of larger projects to do when she was away. I would casually bring up my ideas, waiting for any hint of a "yes" from Laura... which translated to a "HELL YES" in my mind. Basically, if I didn’t hear the word NO, I would think, “So I have a chance” from the movie Dumb and Dumber. Ok, let me not lie... even when I heard no, I still thought I had a chance. In the past, I built a few sheds, painted rooms, built garden beds, and refurbished our bathroom to keep busy while she was away. If I was a betting man - and I am not 😜😜 - I would put money on the fact that most husbands probably think the same.

So what do I do now?

The more I lose to ALS, the less I can accomplish physically. The Gardening touch has been passed over to Nique, all of the landscaping now belongs to Laura, and there are no more secret projects. The clocks have stopped clicking and the family games have gotten dusty.

As PALS lose motor function, the more frustrated we become. If we don’t find something to do with our minds, we would go crazy. I started by challenging myself to write a weekly blog post, and now here we are. I've even binged watched a lot of shows. Eventually, though, my mind started wandering again and my leg started “bouncing up and down.” I knew I needed something more. Over the past year, I have challenged myself to find new things to learn and do.

The first thing I tackled is the same thing that every PALS has to know about eye gaze - YOU CAN DO IT. Secondly, it only works when the tablet is horizontal because of the eye gaze attachment. Finally, you should know that using the tablet and eye gaze just won’t for Candy Crush. When I realized I couldn’t play Candy Crush on my phone anymore and tried using eye gaze because I was already on level 3600, I was CRUSHED when I couldn’t. CC was my jam! I was like a junkie - all I wanted was two chocolate candies covered in yummy sprinkles to line up next to each other and BAM! I was good.  But I soon got over the loss.

To keep my mind busy, I started searching out new mental projects.

Just before going 100 percent eye gaze, I found the Bible Project App and started my journey to read the Bible cover to cover and learn more. I am proud to say I completed reading the Bible just last week and continue to learn and grow every day.

As I transitioned into fully using eye gaze for everything, I kept searching for more to do.

My friend Eileen introduced me to Creative Pursuits. A new program created by the ALS Association, Creative Pursuits started regionally in the Wisconsin area but will be going Nationwide this fall. This program is "designed for all people living with ALS to participate in all offerings.  Adaptive tools and processes are available and tailored to meet each individual’s needs. Physical limitations should not stop you from trying these creative opportunities.”

I started with a writing class because I knew I could use the eye gaze and I wanted to improve my writing skills. I felt like the new kid in school when I attended my first class. All of the other students already knew each other and were laughing and having a good time. The coordinator Liz had an infectious smile that drew me into the group within minutes of the introductions. During the class, the instructor took the time to let me write my questions or responses in the chat, which allowed me to fully participate. By the time the class ended, I felt like I was apart of the school for years. Since then I have taken other writing classes and even tried hands free digital art and music classes. I will 100% continue to advocate for PALS to take these classes, so I am adding the last catalog for you here: Creative Pursuits Course Catalog

Taking the classes has given me more confidence to grow and try other new things while keeping my mind busy. I've found many apps that work just fine horizontally, and when a new one doesn't, I delete it and keep searching. Since I liked to physically play card games, that was a simple solution and there are many apps available to meet my needs and keep my interest. There is no need to repair any more clocks. Instead, my keeps my brain busy. I have even found painting and puzzle apps to keep challenging my mind.

Recently I even started dipping my toe into trading stocks. I have been contributing to my 401k for many years, but when I retired that stopped. Although I can let it grow, I felt I was still too young to rely on that alone. Since I have been buying stocks in other accounts already, I had an interest in the stock market. I started researching some more and found some classes online. After some thought, I decided to try playing around with trading. I find it interesting and it sparks the gambler in me. Now, don’t go running to the phone to call me about what hot stocks you should buy because I only have my pinky toe in the game. I figure if it’s just hanging around not doing anything, what would it hurt if it got bitten off. 😂😂

At the end of the day, the mind is one of the last things to go for a PALS. I cannot sit around and just watch TV, and I’ve almost found the end of the internet. I need to find other interests to keep my day full and brain sharp. Otherwise, I might have to try karaoke and I don’t think Darius (my eye gaze voice) is ready for that.

Love and Blessings

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