“My Best Father’s Day” Chapter 86

I've had 29 Father’s Days, but this year meant the most.

Many fathers would say the very first Father’s Day is the most special of them all and I would not disagree. My first Father’s Day was 16 June 1996. Laura and I were living in Texas - Gabriel was 6, Corina was 3 and Chantelle was only 7 months old. I didn’t know what it was to be a Father, however, I was a provider and tried to emulate what my fathers did for me.  As a man I had to still earn the right to be called Father.

I proudly grew into my role of being a Father, and fully embraced the different names that came with it - step-father, daddy, dad, pops, bop, PoPo Shisho, and others. Even now, I fall deeper in love each time I hear one of these titles. As the years passed on Father's Day, the kids would make me breakfast in bed with princess toast, pancakes, eggs, coffee and other yummy treats. I would be awake and hear them working hard, then pretend to be asleep when they came in the room to surprise me. I would eat whatever was on the plate, and often had a little help from them. They were always so proud of what they'd made and I would never turn anything down.

After breakfast was over, I'd spend the day with my family doing various activities. We'd go to movies, on an adventure, or something else. This was my chance to slow life down and spend time with them. In my mind, this is the day a Father honors his children and that’s what I continue to do. I lift them up in glory, and its an honor to be called Father.

2006 was the first year I remember not having the whole family together on Father's Day. I was stationed in Korea at the time, and Fathers Days haven't been the same since. At the time, Gabriel was in college and spent a few years working out of state over the summer. Princess Toast from one year magically became bagels and sandwiches the next, that I finished eating with no more help. In 2011 I started a job in Germany and only my two youngest daughters came with us. By the time I moved to Virginia in 2016, everyone was grown up and living their own lives, and breakfast and family outings were not the same. I still love every Father’s Day, and always look forward to calls or FaceTime if we're not together.

In early 2022, after my official ALS diagnosis, Laura and I were attending Summit Church DC when I decided to be Baptized. When I spoke with Pastor Melissa, she informed me I could be Baptized on 19 June, which happened to be on Father’s Day. I thought what a blessing, and it turns out that I was the only person being baptized that day. It was a beautiful day with my brother in Christ Mike in attendance and my most of my family, but we were still one short. My youngest daughter Dominique was in the Army and stationed in Hawaii at the time. A few months later in November 2022, Dominique was restationed to Fort Belvoir just - 15 minutes from our home in Springfield.

As a military family, being separated from family is something you never like to do, but you do get used to it. Because of this you meet many new friends along the way and some of them become family. Over recent years, our current neighbors Mary and Rosemary have become family too. Last summer, as I became more dependent on the wheelchair, they decided it was too far me to go around the block to visit. Since our backyard butted up to theirs, they decided it would be easier to cut a hole in the fence to add a ramp and door and we've been using it ever since. Father’s Day this year also happened to be Mary’s birthday, and she hosted a birthday/Father’s Day party we were invited to attend.

Being so used to being separated from my kids for Father’s Day, I was looking forward to attending the party. I'd heard rumors that my son might fly home from California for the weekend, but once Friday and Saturday passed, I assumed that it would be another year without everyone home.

On Sunday morning I woke up around 9:30am, and at 10:00am my oldest daughter - who was visiting for the weekend - served me breakfast in bed. These days breakfast is 6 ounces of Kate Farms PEG formula with a side of water, and I'll never understand why nobody wants to help me eat Father's Day breakfast anymore. One by one the girls came in to wish me a Happy Father’s Day, and helped get me ready for the day. As I was moved into the living room, I was surprised to see my son waiting for me. This was the first time in many years that all my kids were home for Father’s Day. We then went on a family outing just like years past and joined Mary's party through the garden gate. When we got home several hours later, my heart was full from being able to celebrate and spend the day together.

Living with ALS gives you the time to reflect on the past and enjoy the moments you have in the present like never before. From the days of princess toast to liquid formula, I have loved every Fathers Day because being a father is the greatest honor of all. I have a better understanding and appreciation now, and only God knows if I will have another with my whole family together again. This was the best Fathers Day of them all.

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there. I pray your days are filled with love and princess toast.

Love and Blessings

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