“Daddy’s Girls” Chapter 50

Laura and I have been together over 28 years. I’m still not sure how she got so lucky.  Over the years we’ve been apart many times either for work or other reasons. Over the last three years, though, we have not been apart a single day. You might be thinking, "that’s great" or "only three years? That’s not long at all!" I would agree with both sentiments. However, for a caregiver, 24/7 caregiving is draining emotionally and physically and having time away is crucial.

This year over Labor Day weekend, Laura and I were separated again. After many months of convincing, my girls and I finally got Laura to take some time away.  Dr. Laura (Chapter 28) trained all of the girls and was ready to go home. On Friday, the girls came home and Laura was off to see her family. Time for her to stop focusing on me and take a mental and physical health break for herself. Other than a few hours here and there, she has been with me every hour of every day for the past three years. The stress caregivers are under is a heavy burden. We have to remember to take care of them as much as they take care of us.

Laura only shared with her sister she was coming home so when she arrived her mom and dad were surprised. Laura has always been a daddy’s girl, so surprising him filled his heart. Pom-poms and mini skirts were never her thing. Laura will tell you that if she wasn’t playing sports, you could find her working with her dad on a project. Although this trip, her focus was to spend time with both her mom and dad. When her dad needed to cut some grass and weeds, Laura was right there to help him once again. It’s no wonder why our girls are the same as Laura.

As for me, I had all of my girls home and things to do. Friday we settled in and watched some TV.  Saturday we started off with a shower and getting ready for our “Laura is away, time to play “ weekend. Over the years, every time Laura would leave I did a project around the house. Most were outside but there were a few in the house too. I built sheds, garden beds, painted rooms, a total bathroom renovation and other projects.  The rule was that I had to have the right tools for the job, so when Laura was away, and I got new tools.  This time I was not able to do the project, but daddy’s girls were. The task, cutting down the apple tree. The tools involved all hand tools that we already had on hand. The purpose of using hand tools was for safety, but also as a lesson on how hard it is to remove a tree and its stump by hand, so you wouldn’t just cut trees down for no reason. This was a lesson I learned as a kid while living with my foster family (Chapter 44 “Little Brother”). l also thought this would be a new tool free project, until my daughter broke the handle of my pickax.  With the tree removed we spent the rest of the day watching UFC and welcomed my son in law home, who also came to help.  Home Depot trip to come.

Sundays are for church and family. After the girls got me ready, we watched the service online and later spent the afternoon with our favorite neighbors and my little BFFs. It’s my opinion that you are not living with ALS if you’re not spending time with the people you love and doing everything you can.

Monday is ADVENTURE time. Since my girls were little, when we went out for a day trip, we would always say we were going on an ADVENTURE!  In that spirit, on the last day of our weekend, what else would we do? We went out on a fishing adventure. A few weeks ago, Dominique found a wheelchair accessible location where we could all be together.  We spent time remembering past fishing trips and other ADVENTURES. Henry demonstrated his fly fishing skills catching bass, and Dominique brought in catfish.  Another ADVENTURE in the book of our family history and I hope many more.

On Tuesday, Laura came home and my girls were gone. Laura was tired from traveling, but her heart and mind were refreshed. We were back to our daily routine again. As I sat in my living room looking out the window listening to the birds reflecting on the weekend, I realized girls talk too much. I forgot how crazy my girls were as kids until they get together as adults. However, I wouldn’t want them to change at all. Once again, the clock started over for the next time daddy will see his girls again.

Daddy’s girls come in all ages whether you are two running up to your daddy coming through the door or your twenties taking care of your daddy with ALS. Or in your xxxx’s flying across the States to surprise your daddy.  (What, did you really think I would tell Laura’s age? I’m losing muscle NOT my mind.) I don’t believe there is a man alive that doesn’t melt when their daughter looks them in the eyes and says, “I love you daddy “

Love and blessings.