(My Brother, My Heart) Chapter 137

I would like to thank my friend/sister Denise for her support. This week’s post is a letter from her.

My Promotion to Sergeant First Class

Dave, my friend and chosen brother…where do I even begin?

Dave and I have been part of each other’s lives for over 23 years. It’s impossible to sum up all the memories I have with him and his beautiful family in just a few words. So instead, I’ll share what I admire most about him…his strength, his fight, his heart and his unwavering spirit.

Dave is never one to take things lying down. Well...maybe a few things, but not many 😁 . Especially not things that matter to him. Even now, in the biggest battle of his life, he’s still undeniably himself: strong, stubborn and full of heart.

I first met Dave in 2002 when I was stationed at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. We were both instructors for the Basic Noncommissioned Officer Course. I’ll never forget how we met: he walked up to me and said, “Hi! I’m Sergeant DuBois, and I’m married so don’t get any ideas.” I was a little taken aback. First of all, who introduces themselves like that? And second, why did he think I needed to know he was married? I responded, “Hi, I’m Sergeant White, and it’s a good thing you’re not my type.” We both laughed and that was the beginning of something real. 

A week or so later, things were happening behind the scenes at work that I’ll keep private. But Dave saw what was going on and he knew it wasn’t right. One morning, he pulled me aside, told me the truth of what was happening. He made it clear that he didn’t agree with what was going on. From that day on, he always made sure I had the right information and I never doubted his support for me. He was honest and forthright and I admired that.

You see, Dave was never one to hold back how he felt. One of the things I admired most about him was his blunt honesty. Sure, it got him into trouble now and then, and we had to work on his tact, but with Dave, you always got the truth. There was never any guessing or second-guessing, and I appreciated that deeply. His integrity and straightforward nature were part of what drew me to him as a friend. 

Before long, we were spending a lot of time together. His bluntness and that sharp wit of his always kept me laughing. We had a certain kind of banter that made the days at work fly by. It was entertaining, it was real and it made even the toughest moments easier. 

About 2 months later, I finally got to meet his family and that’s when I really fell in love. Dave always spoke so highly of his wife Laura and the kids and when I met them, I understood why. That moment brought full circle the way he had introduced himself to me on day one, with firm respect for his wife and family.

If you’ve ever had the privilege of knowing Laura and their beautiful children, then you know just how much they add to the man Dave is. As a family, they captured my heart. Their love, their strength, and their bond are rare, and I consider it one of life’s true blessings to be part of their world. 

As the years passed and our bond deepened, our families became inseparable. I turned to Dave for advice often. His perspective was especially important to me when I started dating Mike, my now-husband. I’ve always seen Dave as a big brother, and I knew that he and Laura genuinely wanted the best for me. That’s why I included them in every part of my life. They became godparents to one of my children and over the past couple decades, we’ve walked together through both life’s highs and lows. 

Dave, Laura, Myself and Mike

That’s why, when I was visiting with them and they shared Daves’s diagnosis of ALS, I broke down. I was later upset with myself for crying in front of him, but I couldn’t help it. We’ve shared more laughs than tears in our years together, but I was seeing my friend physically change, facing a future filled with unknowns. ALS is a cruel, unforgiving disease. But what remains true, and what always will, is Dave’s strength and his incredible tenacity.

Visiting Dave Shortly After Diagnosis

If there’s anyone who can face this head-on, it’s Dave! He is one of  the few people I know with a will to fight that strong. HE DOESN’T GIVE UP! He continues to do what he’s always done and that’s to share, inform and help others. That’s just who he is. No matter how painful or personal the experience, Dave is always ready to speak up if it might help someone else. He turns hardship into wisdom and struggle into purpose. 

Though my heart broke the day I learned about his diagnosis, it also grew. Now the world gets to see what I’ve known for so long. They get to see why I was so drawn to him as a person and as a brother and that’s his immense heart! His courage! And the beauty that shines even in the darkest of times. I admire him more than words can fully express. 

My hope is that everyone has a chance to know Dave in some way. Reach out to him. Send an email, ask a question, say hello. He will respond, ALWAYS, and give what he can, because that is the kind of man he is. My Dave, my brother, my HEART!!!!

Love you, my friend!

Your work wife,

Denise

p.s. I better have been the only one!