“Answering God’s Call” Chapter 21

How does your faith help you deal with the challenge of ALS?

I have limited memories of going to church with my family when I was a little boy living in New Rochelle NY. Once my mom left when I was 6, church and religion were no longer in my life.

When I joined the Army at 19, I went to church in basic training on Sundays because it allowed us time away from the Drill Sergeants and time to talk to the ladies.  Over the next 8 years, church was not a part of my life. Sundays were for recovering from hang overs or football.  During those seven years, I was married and divorced twice, and both of my wives never had children with me.  My first wife elected to have an abortion and my second wife unfortunately had three miscarriages. I was mad at my life, broken family, foster home, divorces, loss of life... My relationship with God was not good.

I was 27 when I met Laura, and one of the very first things she told me was, “you cannot be a good husband and father if you don’t have a relationship with your mom."  Even though my mom and I had a relationship, it was not very good.

The first two years of our marriage we attended a catholic service while at Fort Hood, TX, and both Dominique and Chantelle were Baptized. My relationship with God and my mom, though, was still very poor. I was checking the blocks for my family in church and not developing any further with my mom.

In 1997, we move to Hawaii where Laura and I decided to find a church for our families.  You would think finding a church would be easy, but boy were we wrong. I was still going through the motions and did not understand nor have a relationship with God.

In 1999, still with personal issues, I attended CREDO - a program sponsored by the Navy Chaplains Corps. This program offered both a couples retreat (which Laura and I attended) and personal growth retreats for me. During the personal growth retreat, I was able to overcome some demons I did not know I had with myself and my relationship with my mom.   This was also an introduction to God for me.

Shortly after the retreat, I spoke to Laura about attending church again.  One of my fellow Soldiers invited us to his church. This church was a small store front with a Christian service. As we enter, it was a nice little set up with chairs and you could tell they were just beginning. The service started out ok until it was time for the offering. All of a sudden, the door in the back opened up and a gentleman came down the isle with a wheelbarrow painted gold. The pastor started to scream and praise saying we needed to fill it up with donations.  Needless to say we never went back again.

The next church we went to was on Father’s Day. I enjoyed the service and the pastor asked if anyone wanted a personal prayer to come up front. I felt the urge to move forward and was standing in line when the pastor moved to the first person and touched their head. This individual immediately fell to the ground doing the religious funky chicken. I was third in line and the first two went down fast. The pastor looked at me, said some words, and pushed on my head. When I just stood there with a stupid look, he tried again with the same result and then moved on. The next few went down like a bag of rocks. When the prayers were over I headed back to where Laura and the kids were, we locked eyes, she got the kids up, and we walked straight out the doors.

Ok so here we are, strike two, and we were behind on the count. We decided to try a church on post when our friend/neighbor invited us. The service was going well until Laura looked down the pew and saw me and our four kids falling asleep. After the service our friend Tony picked Dominique up to hold her and looked at Laura with concern. Dominique had taken her diaper off and was bare assed. When Tony felt her ass on his arm he quickly handed her off to Laura.  Now I’m the one wearing diapers. Strike three and we were out.

Over the next 15 years we did not attend church as a family. Military moves, retirement from the Army, sports, busy schedules, loss of confidence in religion... We really can’t say exactly why, but, we just didn't go.  Laura and I discussed going back, but never did.   

In 2016 we moved to Virginia. The kids were grown and gone so it was just Laura and I. Shortly after, Laura met Julian while working out at the gym. A young pastor in training, Julian turned out to be a highly spiritual man. Julian was starting a new concept called Christian Muscle Wellness Academy and invited us to join. Now we had already struck out before, but we decided to give it a shot. We met in a tiny storefront and there were about eight of us. He opened every session with a 15 minute High Intensity Training (HIT) then when into a service. From the very first day I felt connected. There was something about Julian that drew me in and ! wanted to learn more. Over the next year, we would attend on Sundays and I was learning more each day.  Unfortunately Julian eventually left the area, but his online church continued which allowed us to continue. Network connections limited our attendance, though. (https://www.christianmuscle.org/)

However, by now I wanted more and Laura and I were able to continue through Apps during Covid.  We found the "You Version Holy Bible" app with daily prayer, bible in a year and other programs. We have a church about a half mile from our home we wanted to attend, however with Covid closures and our hesitation to attend gatherings, we waited. My belief and walk with God was growing stronger and I still wanted more. In April 2022, Laura and I decided to attend Summit Church and from the very first day, I felt a presence in my spirit I had never felt before.  The next week, the church had a Baptism service which got me thinking... what does it mean to be Baptized? I was - and still am - very young in my religious walk and have a lot to learn. It was about two weeks later when I was given my ALS diagnosis.

My faith was strong but my knowledge was weak.  I told Laura I wanted to be Baptized, but felt like a hypocrite. I understood the reason, but with my recent diagnosis, was I doing it because of it or for my walk with God? I questioned if I was worthy to be Baptized. After all, at this point, I was 54 and just starting my true walk. It was also around the same time I felt God speak to me. God told me to teach others about my ALS and be a mentor to others as mentioned before in Chapter 19.  Even with this, do I deserve to be Baptized? At this point, I reached out to my brothers in Christ for guidance. They taught me I was worthy, that God wants this for me, and even though I have a lot to learn, it is my decision to make.

On Father’s Day 2022, I was Baptized in front of my church, family, and God.  Laura and I have continued to attend our church and grow in our faith everyday.

So, how does my faith help me deal with the challenge of ALS?  So here I am. I found my church and even stay awake. I keep my diapers on and my faith grows stronger everyday. I have to believe God has put me on this mission for a reason that I cannot explain. I trust that this is my mission and that my walk with God protects me. God does not want me to suffer - He wants me to have a great life. My time here is only a moment in time and I will walk in His glory. I spend the time here enjoying the blessings I have - not the blessings I don’t have. I am kind to others and show them mercy. I use this time I have to understand and grow stronger in my faith. My body might be slowly dying, but my spirit will live on. I do not have time to focus on my situation when there is so much love that surrounds me every day.

This is my journey, and through it I have learned that to be whole, you must have a strong relationship with family and God. I don’t know where you are in your journey, nor am I the one to tell you how to get there. But I do know my own journey has given me peace to continue to swing at life's curveballs and never strike out!

Corinthians 7:17

Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them.